Dear tumblr, I just got released from hospital after an attempt to end my life and I think i’m going to have to start seeing a psychiatrist again. To be honest, i’ve never been this suicidal.
Anyway, i’m not going to go into detail about my problems but the reason i’m writing this post is partly to vent, and partly as a message to people like me:
I hear that a lot of people on tumblr have depression too, so you might know what it’s like to feel as though it’s just not worth it anymore. That you’d rather die than have to use every ounce of strength that you have to take things one day at a time and pretend like things are okay. Nothing ever feels okay, does it? Every second of the day, you feel like you’re having to actively stop yourself from falling apart. I know everyone tells you that it’s not the end of the world, but I understand how that only makes you feel worse. I think people don’t understand that by downplaying our problems, it gives us more incentive to prove them wrong, be it through hurting ourselves or something more drastic. If that’s what it takes to get through to people, then that’s what we’ll have to resort to. Similarly, here is my cry for help: People NEED to stop trivializing things when we tell them that we can feel those very things tearing us apart.
But we’re all here, and we’re all living. So here’s my message:
It may be agonisingly difficult to keep going and it feels like nobody understands you, but I do. And I want you all to know that we’re in this together. And maybe some day we’ll all have gotten through what is undoubtedly the hardest time of our lives, and we’ll look back and thank eachother for understanding. Because that’s really all we can ask for in times like this, for people to understand. So here’s me telling you all that I understand. And if you understand me, then please reblog- you never know how many people are just waiting to be told that they’re not alone. I know I am. Thank you :-)